Movie Etiquette 101:
I love going to the movies. If I were to average out every time I went to the multi-plex over a year it might average out to roughly once a week. In essence, I see a lot of movies. Some great, some not so great but it’s all a part of the experience of going to a theatre, sitting down with you drink, candy and/or popcorn in a room full of strangers and watching something that has the ability to not only entertain but provoke thought as well.
It’s when there are people in the theatre that don’t share the same love for the movie theatre/don’t care about anyone else around them that the experience is ruined. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been watching a movie and out of the corner of my eye I see a blue LED screen pop up and see that someone is texting during the movie. Or worse, when someone decides to take a phone call in the theatre. It’s not only distracting, it’s downright rude.
I was always taught that the movie theatre is not your living room, nor is it your den and that you must respect everyone else who is in there with you because they are trying to enjoy the film as well. Some people just do not understand, think they are above it all, or think they are too cool for the rules.
I hate that shit.
So, with that being said I would like to propose my rules for movie watching at the theatre:
1. Turn off your phone completely: Your Facebook friends status updates are not crucial to your survival nor do those text messages from your friends asking you where you are need to be answered at the moment in time. When I went to see “The A-Team” last week a woman in front of me was texting during the trailers (not a HUGE deal but still annoying) thankfully once the movie started she stopped, clearly someone knows their mobile phone etiquette in theatres. But there are some that do not, ie tweens and teenagers, because they think they’re the shit and too important to care about anyone else in their vicinity. People got by without phones for the better part of the entire existence of humans. The world will still spin on its axis without your phone on for two hours, trust me, you’re not that important. Nor is it worth ruining my movie going experience over, because it’s not just you in the theatre.
2. Shut up: This one is very simple. Laugh all you want at a funny movie, I encourage it. If you have to lean over to your friend and ask a quick movie plot question, do it. But don’t have full blown conversations until the movie is over. I will never forget watching “Crash” and (SPOILER ALERT) right as Michael Pena is about to get shot and his daughter jumps up to shield him a couple behind me says “they were blanks”. Ef, you. You just ruined a dramatic moment in the film for me. I hope you’re happy. Talking can be good if done in the right movie, ie “The Room” or, for example, during “What Lies Beneath” when Michelle Pfieffer is trying to escape by crawling and the villain is slowly closing in and guy at the other end of the theatre yelled “Bitch you better run!” I’ll never forget that. Know what type of movie you’re in before you open your mouth.
3. Babies, stay home: Parents, if you’re taking your four-year-old to see “Transformers 2” we got a problem. I mean you as parents and me as a theatre patron. I don’t want to hear him or her crying when Optimus Prime is kicking some Decepticon ass, nor does anyone else in the theatre. When I went to see “X2” right as the opening credits rolled a baby started crying, mind you it was dead quiet (except for the baby) then one man yelled from across the full theatre “Shut up!” I couldn’t have said it better myself. Most theatres have Mom Movie Mondays where the theatres play movies with lowered sound and brighter lights so you can watch with your baby. Go to that, leave the 3:10pm show on opening day to us who want to see the movie and be distracted by your baby.
4. Clean up after yourself: Have you ever looked down the row after a movie is over and the lights are all up? You’ll be amazed at see how much trash is left behind. Some in the form of nearly full bags of popcorn (that costs $6 and you’re leaving it on the ground!?) and empty drink cups. Take the time, pick up your large items and throw them away as you leave the theatre. Most of the time the cleaning crew is there with a trash can, making it very easy for you to throw away your trash. They appreciate it, I’m sure. It’s a privilege to go to the movie theatre and eat delicious/fattening/overpriced snacks, don’t abuse that by trashing the joint then leaving. Sure it’s their job to clean up but it’s the right thing to do.
5. Arrive early: Ugh, this one really gets me. I like to get to the theatre at least 30 minutes before show time because I like to choose my exact seat, get all my concessions and relax before the show. When people arrive late they stand at the theatre entrance looking for seats that don’t exist and then climb over you to get to those seats. I’m not the face of a rock wall, step over me with dignity and deftness please. I personally hate it when I have to stare up at the theatre and try to find a seat, when I do arrive later, because it just isn’t fun. If you’re constantly late, set your watch ahead 10 minutes, then you’ll never be late again.
6. Respect those that stay: My grandmother used to take me to see any movie, no matter the rating. I wanted to “The Lion King” we saw it. She wanted to see “Bullworth”, we saw it. She also liked to sit through the credits of every single movie, no matter how good or how bad. I never found out why she did this but I attribute it to seeing all of the people that put their hard work into the film and acknowledging them by seeing their name. I still sit through credits and I’ve found another use for them: discussion. I can sit with my friends and discuss the movie, without worrying about if I’m ruining anything for anyone else. People today cannot wait to get out of a movie theatre fast enough once the credits roll. They stand in front of me blocking the screen (sure it’s just a list of people, but I’m still watching the movie! Get the hell out of my way). They step on my feet trying to get out and just annoy me. Where’s the fire? Can you not wait two to five minutes longer? At times the credit sequences are a piece of art (ie “Up”) and can also have a little tidbit at the end. Respect those that linger after the action has ended because that’s their way of enjoying the film. Patience is a virtue, but one that seems to be missing from today’s society.
My idea of perfect movie watching is different from others, and at times I respect that, but if it ruins my enjoyment (and other peoples as well) of a film then I think you need to rethink your habits.
