Do you remember
The Love Guru? The Mike Myers movie from 2008. You don't? I completely forgot about it until I saw it pop up on FX yesterday. So I decided to sit down and watch a few minutes. I could only get through 30 minutes before I decided sleep was better for me than this movie. However, there were a few things that caught my eye in those 30 minutes.
- Mike Myers seems to really enjoy penises. I mean, there was a joke about a chastity belt, an erection, mops soaked with urine, Coach Punch Cherkov, Justin Timberlake's bikini briefs, his character's nickname - Le Coq, and his "Schnauzer".
- I think he hates my Los Angeles Kings. He's from Toronto, born a Leafs fan so this is only natural. But, I guess he's still bitter about the 1993 Campbell Conference final.
- (I already knew this) Jessica Alba cannot act to save her life. She should stick to melodrama or bikini photo shoots or movies where bad acting is allowed.
- Poor Ben Kingsley. No comment needed here.
- Romany Malco deserves better. He was brilliant in The 40-Year-Old Virgin and also on Weeds, but here he is underused and with the right stuff, he can knock it out.
- Comics as actors don't always pan out. He hired mostly comics to play supporting roles. From the great Jim Gaffigan to the at-one-time-funny-and-enjoyable-now-douchey Daniel Tosh. Throw in The Daily Show vets Rob Riggle, Stephen Colbert and John Oliver and you'd think they would all add up to something great. Nope.
- This character is just plain annoying. I don't think I could get through a full 2 hours of him. The accent, the bad slapstick, the constant puns, ugh.
- Recognizing funny situations doesn't make them funny. In a scene where they sit down in Coach Cherkov's (Verne Troyer) office office you see that everything is small - because he is small. This is amusing until Jessica Alba says "Next time we'll meet in my office, agreed?" Let it play out. Unfortunately, I don't think that would've helped since bad slapstick happens right after that and that was about where I gave up.
I may never know how this movie ends, nor do I care, but the fact that just 30 minutes was enough for me to sit down and write about the things that annoyed me with the film says something.
