Adventures in Sky Mall

Let me start off by saying that I really enjoy flying. I enjoy being zipped away over the earth to a destination of my choice and all the while sitting comfortably (and at times not) in a seat with a book, magazine, music, crossword puzzle or a movie to keep me occupied. I also enjoy watching people at the airport. I enjoy it because people get irritated over the tiniest of things. These irritants coupled with the pressure to get to the plane on time make people fun to watch. I am a very calm flyer. I take my time, arrive early, check-in, find my gate, and wait it out. I love watching frustrated people go through the metal detectors over and over again and seeing them take off a piece of jewelery they forgot they were wearing which was setting off the alarm in the first place. I love watching people run awkwardly through terminals with their bags in tow as they try to get to their departure gate on time. I always imagine they are running to stop the person they love from boarding a plane going halfway across the country, but that's just in the movies. I really enjoy listening to people complain about how they are going to be late for their flight, as they stand in the security line asking to cut in front of people. They will not get any sympathy from me because they failed to arrive early and/or read the signs at the security line entrance. I think I take pleasure in their discomfort because it's not me.

I'm a fairly superstitious flyer. When I fly Southwest (which is more often than not) I like to choose my exact seat: Row 17, window. My lucky number is 17, and I like to look out and see the Earth below. I also like to read Sky Mall. If you've never experienced Sky Mall then you've never flown in a plane before. It's the type of catalogue where you can buy anything. From bug vacuums to canine genealogy kits. Needless to say I love looking through the catalog and seeing all of the useless stuff a person can buy/thinks they need. From the Wrist Cell Phone Carrier to a color changing shower head (the water glows the color of the LED lights). Some of the items can be useful like the emergency battery that can, supposedly, help you restart your car and inflate your tires if your stranded or the fire escape ladder. This catalogue borrows a page from the Hooters mantra: "Delightfully Tacky".

This brings me to the pièce de résistance from the Sky Mall catalogue. Look at this photo from the catalogue of the shoe I found on page 11 and tell me what sticks out.

These shoes are called "Gravity Defyer"'s and apparently help you absorb shock and add a spring to your step. They claim to be like Benny the Jet's PF Flyers: "Walk and run faster, jump higher, no fatigue and nor more pain!" But what sticks out to me is the logo. It's what struck me the first time I laid eyes on these shoes. If you didn't really look at it before, look at it again. See something you shouldn't? Me too. Am I messed up for this being my first thought when looking at these shoes? Probably, but this design went through stages of development before it was sewn on the shoe. Don't you think one person in the marketing, advertising, design department or even the FedEx guy delivering packages to the company would've said something about this logo? Whose idea was it to go ahead with this design? It's not only inappropriate, it's stupid. I don't know what else to say about these shoes because the logo pretty much says it all. These shoes will forever be known as the "Sperm Shoe" and it's a near perfect example of what you can find in Sky Mall and it just goes to show that there's never a dull moment when you read Sky Mall.

The State of Saturday Mornings

If you were like me when you were younger you woke up Saturday morning and sat down in front of the TV to watch cartoons. For me, that was my Saturday. Wake up, eat breakfast, watch cartoons all morning then do whatever afterwards. Some people got out of watching cartoons as they got older, not me. I continued to watch them well into my teens. Part of it was due to the fact that I always got up early each day and Saturdays would be no different. The only difference was that I didn't have to get ready for school on Saturdays. It was my day.

I had my routine down pat. I knew which shows were on which stations at a given time so I could plan my cartooning accordingly. The three main stations I watched were Fox Kids, Kids WB and ABC's One Saturday Morning. For most of my live-action shows I would turn to TNBC. I would watch shows like "Hang Time", "City Guys", "California Dreams", "Saved by the Bell". One Saturday Mornings had my favorite shows like "The Weekenders", "Recess" and "Fillmore!" but it wasn't my go-to station. Kids WB and Fox Kids were my real time wasters. They had the shows I used to watch religiously: "Eerie, Indiana", "Digimon", "Bobby's World", "Power Rangers", "X-Men", "The Tick", "Animaniacs", "Batman & Superman: The Animated Series", "Pokemon", "Static Shock", "Jackie Chan Adventures"...the list goes on and on. I don't really watch cartoons anymore except for "The Simpsons", "Metalocalypse" and "South Park" and a few others but those are clearly not suitable for Saturday Mornings.

A few weekends ago I was feeling a bit nostalgic and decided to see what cartoons were on TV. I started at the beginning of the networks: CBS. They used to carry shows, but I never watched them. Now they carry shows like "Noonbory and the Super 7" (huh?) and they rerun One Saturday Morning's old "Sabrina the Animated Series". NBC has ditched the teen-oriented live-action shows for cartoons named "Turbo Dogs" and "Shelldon", among others. Kids WB, now called The CW 4 Kids is still going strong in the cartoon department and has a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show and a bunch of other Japanese-style anime cartoons, including reruns of "Yu-Gi-Oh!". ABC's One Saturday Morning is now ABC Kids. They ditched the cartoons and now broadcast Disney Channel shows like "Hannah Montana" and "The Suit Life with Zack and Cody" they also added on other former cultural phenomenon to their lineup: "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers". Only, they've dumbed it down. They put title bars under nearly everything. For example, when they morph into their ranger forms and call their zords we see a title pop up saying the name of the zord. As if they didn't just hear it! They also added ka-pows and zany sound effects when people fall, which are useless. Fox Kids is gone and now the network shows some "Saved by the Bell" reruns on top of documentary-style wildlife shows.

I think a lot of the missing content is due to the huge impact cable and satellite programming have made. Now it is more accessible for kids to watch cartoons elsewhere because there's an entire network devoted to cartoons. When I was growing up not every kid had cable, me included, so I made good with what I had and loved it all the way. What bothers me is that kids today are very impatient. If they don't see something on TV they like, they change it immediately because they know they can find something else. I never had that option, it was either watch a "Doug" rerun I'd seen a dozen times on ABC or Creflo Dollar and I chose the former.

What's happened to Saturday Mornings? Maybe this is me being nostalgic but the stations I used to love watching now show shows that are horribly written/animated (there seems to be a high volume of computer animated shows now because it's cheaper, and it shows), they are boring, and extremely uninspiring. Not to mention that almost every network is showing a rerun of a popular show from the past: "Sabrina", "Hannah Montana", "Saved by the Bell" and "Yu-Gi-Oh!". Most of the best content is now on cable and satellite channels making the network Saturday morning schedule thinner than in the past.

The state of Saturday mornings is dire. Comic book fans will remember the critically acclaimed "Batman: The Animated Series" as being expertly crafted in all aspects, and it was developed with Saturday mornings in mind. "Animaniacs" was an over-the-top zany adventure every week filled with entertainment references about Rob Reiner and "Citizen Kane" I wouldn't get until I was older but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I look at the characters in these new shows and I ask: Where's the TJ Detweiler from "Recess" I wanted to emulate? Where's the sense of whimsy I got while watching Tai and Agumon journey through the Digiworld in "Digimon"? It seems to be missing from these new shows, or maybe I'm just not young enough to watch them in the first place. Maybe the shows of my era were looked on as bad by the older generation. Maybe I am a part of a cycle that will repeat itself when the kids watching the shows now get older. A part of my believes that but another part thinks that these new shows are just plain terrible.

With the ever-expanding TV landscape making it easier for Saturday morning programming to be found every day of the week, the niche Saturday morning programming of cartoons and shows are no longer special. It is now commonplace to find cartoons and oddball kid sitcoms on TV any time you want. This does not mean the death of Saturday mornings but they seem to have just become another morning.

Fresh Meat II: "How to Dismantle an Entire Alliance by Mr. Beautiful" - Review

"Mr. Beautiful", aka Kenny, seems to have come back from the dead. He has gone from on the brink of exile to King of the mountain. It's been such a dramatic shift that the once all-powerful Wes is now on his heels, looking for a proper foothold. Wes was originally playing a long term, strategic game because he had the numbers to do so. Now those numbers are dwindling and he's left to wonder where did it go wrong. The best part about it is that he still thinks he has some control over the game. This game is a marathon, you can't sprint at the sound of the gun, you've got to pace yourself and Wes is not doing that and Kenny is coming up behind him with a stronger 2nd wind.

If you thought the lie CJ & Sydney made up about competing in exile when they actually didn't (because of Brandon's drinking before the challenge) was going to come back and bite them in the end, you were right. We confronts CJ head on and asks him specific questions about the exile challenge and CJ is not being clear to Wes. Wes isn't clear on the details of the challenge and keeps asking questions. During this time Sydney just gets up and leaves because she can't take the lying anymore. Wes finds this fishy and probes deeper. CJ snaps and lets Wes know they didn't compete. Now he's labeled a liar, not trustworthy, thus he's expendable. Poor CJ, and you thought you would just coast through.

In the challenge the pairs teamed up with other pairs in a 2-team vs. 2-team challenge in pushing two logs around until they hit the 180° mark. The teams are split onto four ends of the logs and opposite sides. I think I'm making this challenge sound more complicated than it is, because it's pushing a log while the other team pushes the same log in the opposite direction. In the first heat Kenny & Laurel teamed up with Pete & Jillian vs. Landon & Carley and Ryan & Theresa. The challenge deadlocked for an hour and a half, all women jumped off (as an added challenge) to leave the men alone pushing. Pete, somehow, found some strength in him and pushed as hard as he could pushing Ryan and Landon back to the 180° mark.

Evelyn saw this made the guys tired so she decided to throw the challenge giving her alliance it's best shot: a rested Wes & Mandi and CJ & Sydney vs a tired Kenny & Lauren and Pete & Jillian. Sounds great except for the fact that she pissed off Noor & Jenn (her challenge partners) for throwing the challenge and because it didn't work. Wes' team got worked and Pete and Jillian went on to win the challenge.

Wes wanted so badly for Kenny to win so he could throw in Pete & Jillian and remove a member of Kenny's alliance. Pete & Jillian pushed against Kenny & Laurel in the final. Kenny knew that no one would want to go against him and Laurel in Exile so they let Pete & Jillian win. Well played, "Mr. Beautiful". Well played.

Wes thought he was controlling the game when he pulled Kenny aside so that he could tell him for Pete to send in Landon & Carley then the house will send in CJ & Sydney. Except for the fact that both of those teams are a part of Wes' alliance. Not very smart Wes. He thinks Kenny is so stupid and he is completely underestimating him, still.

Pete blurted out Landon & Carley at the deliberation and Wes thought he was in control. Kenny is playing Wes, and he doesn't even know it. The house voted in CJ & Sydney and after a horrible Exile performance (it took them 1.5 hours to finish the first puzzle) CJ & Sydney went home.

Kenny has exposed Wes for not protecting the members in his alliance. Jenn and Ryan, who were playing both sides before, now see what getting into bed with Wes is all about: betrayal, and they are flipping to Kenny's alliance. Wes is only looking out for himself, and Evelyn. This tactic will only get him so far and could cost him a shot at the final. His once seemingly unstoppable alliance is slowly coming apart at the seams and there doesn't seem to be anything he can do to change that.

World Cup fever begins to take hold

It's official, one month from now on this day (the 12th of June) the USA will open up it's World Cup campaign against England (1966 Champions) in Rustenberg, South Africa. The next match will be June 18th vs. Slovenia in Johannesburg and the final match of the group stage will be June 23rd vs. Algeria in Pretoria.

The fervor over these, and all of the matches, matches began in December, when the draw was announced live to the entire world. Now we are less than a month away (June 11th - opening match: South Africa vs. Mexico) from the start of the greatest sporting event/tournament in the world. No other sporting event comes close to the drama, joy, heartache, and passion that the World Cup brings about every four years.

In the history of the tournament only 7 countries have won the title of World Cup champion. Uruguay (2), Italy (4), Germany [as West Germany] (3), Brasil (5), England (1), Argentina (2), and France (1). To become champion makes you a legend and gives your country bragging rights over the next four years.

I'd like to forget four years ago and what happened with the USA in Germany. Hopes ran high for this team after the successful 2002 Korea/Japan World Cup run only to be derailed in the first half of the first match vs. Czech Republic and fumbling through the other matches. A disallowed goal here, a red card there all but sealed their fate. On a positive note, the USA was the only team not to lose to eventual champion Italy.

If history is any factor to judge World Cups, which it can be, then the USA is due for a good showing. Case-in-point: 1994 - upset favorite Colombia, played hard against eventual champion Brasil in knockout round. 1998 - One. Goal. Scored. 0 wins, 3 losses (Germany, Yugoslavia, and Iran). 2002 - beat group favorite Portugal, advanced to knockout stage: beat Mexico, narrowly lost to eventual runner-up Germany 1-0 in quarterfinals (Torsten Frings is still public enemy #1 in my house for his not-called handball on the German goal line). 2006 - blown out by Czech Republic, tied Italy, lost to Ghana (here's where the disallowed goal happened). 2010 - ??

Yesterday, USA coach Bob Bradley named his preliminary 30-man roster for the team. This number will be reduced to 23 by June 1st (FIFA date for final roster submission). In case you missed it, or you rely on me to tell you everything about the United States Men's National Team here is the 30-man roster, with the clubs they represent in parentheses:

Goalkeepers: Tim Howard (Everton), Brad Guzan (Aston Villa), Marcus Hahnemann (Wolves)

Defenders: Carlos Bocanegra (Rennes), Jonathan Bornstein (Chivas USA), Steve Cherundolo (Hannover), Jay DeMerit (Watford), Clarence Goodson (IK Start), Chad Marshall (Columbus), Oguchi Onyewu (AC Milan), Heath Pearce (Dallas), Jonathan Spector (West Ham)

Midfielders: DaMarcus Beasley (Rangers), Alejandro Bedoya (Orebro), Michael Bradley (Borussia Moenchengladbach), Ricardo Clark (Eintracht Frankfurt), Clint Dempsey (Fulham), Landon Donovan (Los Angeles), Maurice Edu (Rangers), Benny Feilhaber (AGF Aarhus), Stuart Holden (Bolton), Sacha Kljestan (Chivas USA), Robbie Rogers (Columbus), Jose Torres (Pachuca).

Forwards: Jozy Altidore (Hull), Edson Buddle (Los Angeles), Brian Ching (Houston), Robbie Findley (Salt Lake), Herculez Gomez (Puebla), Eddie Johnson (Aris).

A lot of people will talk about the omissions. You won't find that here. These Yanks will represent the USA in South Africa and while I may not agree with every selection I support them 100% of the way.
Expect all three goalkeepers to go along for the ride with Howard as the starter. Jonathan Bornstein is suspect at the back line but can be good when his head's on straight.
DaMarcus Beasley played his way onto this spot for his great showing for Glasgow Rangers and during the USA vs. Nederlands match. Robbie Rogers is low man on the totem pole here based solely on the fact that Bradley, Donovan, Holden, Dempsey and Clark play extremely well together and have proven themselves at a high level.
I don't expect to see Robbie Findley or Brian Ching get off the plane in South Africa. Robbie Findley was touted as the answer to the missing Charlie Davies. In his time playing for the Stars and Stripes (I saw him live vs. Honduras) he looked sluggish, and jogged most of the time. The speed he showed during the MLS Cup final back in November vanished. I don't know where it went. He's a great player and I want him to excel but he hasn't shown me much to make me believe he can be a legitimate scoring threat. Ching is recovering from a recent injury, but I've never really considered him much of a threat up front. I want to see Gomez play and see what he can bring to the USA because he has been a goal-scoring machine in Mexico. Buddle is a surprise choice but not unthinkable. I only ask if can he produce on the international stage as he has at home (MLS leading goal scorer with 9 in eight games)?

The USA has some "tune-ups" for the World Cup in late May vs. Czech Republic and Turkey. The final roster will be announced June 1st and on June 5th they play Australia in South Africa for their final "tune-up". I will be sure to keep you all updated after those matches and throughout the World Cup.

Fresh Meat II: "Where s*** gets stressful"

The face of the game has changed. No longer will friends be protected by friends. It's all about "how are you going to help me win". This was made clear through Wes' actions this week.

Last week it was hinted that Danny (still wearing those hats) was crumbling under the pressure of the game, according to his alliance, and that he was becoming too much of an emotional liability. Wes saw this as a problem and wanted to send Danny & Sandy into Exile, and hopefully home. His plan, if Kenny & Laurel won the challenge, was to have Ryan (Wes' mole) tell Kenny that he wanted to face Danny & Sandy in exile. This would be done because Kenny would assume that Ryan & Theresa would be voted into Exile by the rest of the house. But, all of this would be moot if Kenny & Laurel won the challenge.

In the "Drop Out" challenge the pairs had to swim out, climb a vertical rope ladder, then a horizontal rope ladder, run from a platform and jump and hang onto a hanging punching bag. Needless to say, there were some pretty nasty falls into the water. The winning team, for the third straight challenge, and fourth out of five, was Kenny & Laurel. Now Wes could put his plan into action.

It went down almost exactly as planned: Kenny & Lauren voted in Danny & Sandy, but a curve ball was thrown as the remaining members of Wes' alliance voted in Pete & Jillian (considered a strong team). Wes wanted Danny, his liability, gone and this was the final nail in the coffin. This decision to put Danny & Sandy against Pete & Jillian is a real eye opener to the other teams. It shows, as Ryan and Noor said, that Wes is willing to thrown anyone under the bus, even his best friend just for the money. No one in his alliance is safe.

Before Exile Danny said that if he were to come back he'd jump ship to Kenny & Laurel's alliance just to take Wes down. Clearly, Wes is doing something wrong if his best friend wants his head on the chopping block. In Exile, Danny (wearing a white bandanna) & Sandy get a blazing head start by completing the first puzzle quickly. Pete & Jillian stumble at the first puzzle but make up some time as they run through the forest. Sandy begins to tire and slows down and Danny yells at her. But it looks as if the lead they built too big of a lead at the beginning to lose. Halfway through the challenge, Pete & Jillian seem to kick it into another gear and find a second wind and begin to run like crazy. Sandy slows down even more and it cost her team. Pete & Jillian literally finish 10 yards in front of Danny & Sandy. They saw Danny pop out of the woods just as they crossed the finish line. Wes got his wish, his liability went home. In the end, Danny, disappointed at what Wes did to him, still wants to be friends and hopes that the two of them can put it all behind them. Aww, bro hug it out.

Social "Game" Notes
Danny, showing his "emotional instability", talks to Mandi about his home life and brings up that his mom died while he was on "The Real World: Austin". It didn't bug me that he brought it up, just the way he did it. He said to her: "in this one episode" he would listen to a recording over and over again. He's not even treating it like it was his life, he's treating it like a television show. He specifically said that it was an episode, and that just rubbed me the wrong way.

Only one thing of note was revealed this week and it was that Jenn and Pete like to hook up. Jenn just likes to make out with Pete and sleep in his bed because she finds him hot. Uh, OK, sure, I can see this ending well...

Films from the 2000's

What have people been calling this decade? The naughts? The ots? People seem obsessed with trying to find a name for this decade. We had the 20's, 30's, etc. but what did they call the early 1900's? It seems to me that we could just revert back to whatever that was called and use it today. But I'm just one person, sitting in front of a computer, writing about whatever. As you can see, I have some pull around here, so maybe I can make something happen. But that's not the point I'm trying to make today.

Today I round up my "Best Of" series with my top films of the decade, from the no name 2000's. It wasn't until I completed this last list that I noticed something, something unintentional but after thinking about it for a while I realized it made perfect sense. One filmmaker shows up on the list four times. He could've shown up five times if there weren't some great films already on this list.

It astonishes me that one director, who also had a hand in writing all four of the listed films, could produce quality films multiple times throughout a decade. Especially in a decade when the cinematic world view expanded, and exploded, with films from countries like Iran and Brazil coming to the forefront and establishing their cinematic identity. The world of film is no longer Hollywood vs. Europe. People from all over the globe are participating in making films that are a part of their culture and society. They are letting the world see what they have to offer and that in turn provides moviegoers the opportunity to find great films from almost anywhere in the world.

While this final list might not reflect the new world order of the expanded world view I mentioned before, I look back at each list I made for each year and I see films from other parts of the world and smaller films put up against the machine that is Hollywood, and at times besting it.

I tried to order this list from top to bottom and I found myself changing my mind with every succeeding number. I think that the list I have now is as complete as it will get, although I find that the first two films are interchangeable (as I've switched them 4 times since I made the list). Without further ado...

1. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
2. Memento
3. The Pianist
4. The Dark Knight
5. Up
6. Slumdog Millionaire
7. Minority Report
8. Lost in Translation
9. There Will Be Blood
10. Batman Begins
11. Moulin Rouge!
12. Juno
13. Dogtown and Z-Boys
14. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
15. Kill Bill Vol. 2
16. Hustle & Flow
17. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
18. Hot Fuzz
19. Little Miss Sunshine
20. The Prestige