Things I Don't Understand

There are some things that exist in this life that I cannot for the life of me figure out why they were even thought of in the first place. These are things that irk, perturb and disturb me to such a degree that they border on the inane and idiotic and make me wonder what the future holds for humanity when there are people in this world who are willing to create/imagine/execute such ideas. I’ll give you an answer now: it looks pretty damn bleak.

Mohawk Motorcycle Helmets: Great. Just what d-bags needed: another excuse for a Mohawk – already a poor fashion choice now emphasized by the fact that if you ride a motorcycle (aka crotch rocket) you can wear a helmet with a Mohawk attached. They come in all sorts of colors: neon green, red, blue, and you can even get studs or points in place of the fanciful follicles. What statement are you trying to make? I hope as you ride under a low-lying bridge those Technicolor tresses get caught in one of the cracks and pulls you right off your bike – but you remain unharmed, thus learning a lesson in stupidity and d-baggery.

No Music during a Music Video: For starters, I don’t know how a music video can be profitable. You can now watch them online, for free, or ignore them completely. I tend to ignore most of them on account of TRL being cancelled (although I stopped watching long before that). But it really bugs me when music videos don’t play music. In the middle of Mariah Carey’s “Heartbreaker” she gets into a fight with herself in the women’s bathroom – and they added some cheesy fight music (I get that it’s cheesy, but play the damn song during the fight). This got me even more perplexed when I tried to watch Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro”, I couldn’t. It took a little over two minutes for the musical intro to even start. I sat at my desk waiting for the video to start and nothing happened, and when the music did start I was so put off that I just closed the video page. It’s a music video, play the song with some visuals and be done with it.

Stickers on Hats: Apparently it’s now cool to leave the stickers on your hat, as well as leave the brim flat (ugh). How is it cool to see that it looks like you just bought that hat yesterday? It seems to me that you’re driving the bandwagon wearing your Tampa Bay Rays hat with the black and gold 59fity logo emblazoned on the top of the brim. Just like the motorcycle helmets: what statement are you trying to make? I guess you care more about your appearance than representing your favorite team, or else you’d leave the sticker off completely. Do you see Albert Pujols or Ichiro leaving the stickers on their hats? No and neither should you.

TMZ: The gossip rags aren't my thing and I really could not care less if Britney Spears was seen walking out of a Starbucks. It's just not my thing. But have you ever watched the TMZ show? It looks like it was put together by an ADD riddled speed addict who also took some shrooms and decided it would be a good idea to exploit celebrities by finding photos and video of them in situations that they would not normally be put in if were not for the camera people in front of them. The show tries to be funny (very very hard) but falls flat on its face at every attempt. The "reporters" dictate exactly what they just showed in a video and describe every detail in each photo - great journalism a work. I truly don't understand why this show is popular, then again I'm not it's target demographic: I don't care about celebrity gossip.

Zeljko Ivanek: I remember seeing this guy accept an Emmy for his work on "Damages", a show I've never watched, and then all of a sudden seeing him pop up everywhere on all of my favorite shows. He showed up in "Heroes", "Big Love", "True Blood" and one episode of "House". All the while I noticed that he's just playing the same brooding character in all of those shows. He's the tough guy with a no-nonsense attitude and aggressive tendencies that others find excessive but he finds necessary. His agent needs to get him some other work, because playing the same character only gets you so far. It just bugs the hell out of me seeing him everywhere and it's something I can't quite put my finger on why he's everywhere. Now he's all over NBC for "The Event" where he seems to be playing another power hungry individual who needs to control the situation at all costs. It's hard for me to say if he's a good actor or not because I haven't seen much range from him and until I see that range (ie a comedic role) then he will be one of those things I just don't understand.