Stella!!! Stella!!!!

I walked into a market a few weeks ago and immediately my ears met the sounds of Ranchero music, so I somewhat knew what type of store I was walking into. I walked around the cooler and saw nothing special until I got the the end, where the imported items were kept. If you're familiar with beer then you know this Stella. If you're familiar with movies you know this Stella and if you're familiar with music then you know this Stella. But nothing prepared me for what I saw on the label for this product. I did a double take because I didn't believe what I just saw but there it was. What was it? I'll show you.



I'm not really sure how to explain it, but it's there and I documented it. I've never had Estella Artois. I wonder if it's Stella's Hispanic cousin she rarely sees because she's home schooled and doesn't get out much. Either way, I just I hope it's as good as the Belgian Stella Artois because she is so fine.

Not Skillet Approved: Resident Evil: Afterlife

Wow, what a waste. What a bore. What a pointless excuse for an action film. This is a first of The Life of Skillet, I have witnessed something I cannot approve. That something is Resident Evil: Afterlife.

One question popped into my head just as the credits began to roll: What’s the point? There is no plot. (I know, some people say “What’s the point?! It’s all about killing zombie-like creatures and Milla Jovovich kicking ass!”) That's fine but there is hardly a beginning, I didn’t notice a middle, and there definitely is no end. The dialogue is terrible, the acting is worse (ahem Ali Larter) – save for Boris Kodjoe playing a former basketball star/leader of survivors who is the only character worth caring about. It was nice to see Wentworth Miller (TV’s Prison Break) show up and low and behold he’s back in a prison (where most of the film takes place) and he knows a way out (I think he’s been type casted). This film is devoid of needed humour, scares, and imagination. In essence, this film is a mess from top to bottom. The action sequences literally borrow from The Matrix Reloaded and Die Hard and the film could have been much shorter if not for the amount of slow-motion (most of which is used in the action sequences).

It's really hard for me to see why people love these films (being that there are now 4 of them) when the product they turn out is so bad.

Then there is the 3D. This film was shot using the same technology used in Avatar but I asked the same question after the credits began to roll: What’s the point? 3D did nothing to enhance my experience and the stuff that was meant to fly off the screen and at my face, didn't. 3D is supposed to add depth to immerse the audience in the world of the film. True, but when that world is an abandoned prison I’d like to stay in my seat thank you. The 3D did nothing to enhance the action or my experience and in short, was a failure.

I don’t want to spend too much time on this film because it doesn’t really deserve it so I’ll end it with a few final thoughts: Milla Jovovich sleepwalks through the film delivering a one-note performance and that one note is monotone. Her voice-overs nearly put me to sleep and bored me to death. I wanted her to shut up as she talked into her hand held camera about the devastation she saw. Ugh, is all I have to say. Finally, this film felt longer than it actually was which is, uh, pretty bad when it was only 1.5 hours long.

Save your money and time and skip this film for it is Not Skillet Approved.

Notable Alumni: Not Another Teen Movie

I’m starting a new segment here on The Life of Skillet and it deals with looking at films with ensemble casts and seeing where they ended up – in essence the ones that hit it big I ask one question: What happened to them?

To start things off I’m looking at the 2001 comedy Not Another Teen Movie. There’s no denying that this movie is not for everyone. With the current trend of spoof films coming out (ie Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans) it really makes me appreciate this film more even though it’s not on par with the greatest spoof film of all time: Airplane! (my opinion). This film was a breath of fresh air as it laid into most of the teen movies that had come out. Everything from the cheesy yet pleasing She’s All That to the underappreciated 10 Things I Hate About You and most of the filmography of the late, great John Hughes. The humor is crude, some of the jokes fall flat but for the most part I laugh and laugh throughout this film every time I watch it. It also features some very big names, albeit after the fact.

Chris Evans: Went on the star in both Fantastic Four films, the underrated Cellular, the under seen Sunshine, and was recently seen (although the box office returns beg to differ) in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and now he is set to play Captain America. Not bad for a guy who put whip cream on his body and a banana in his butt.

Chyler Leigh: She hasn’t done much film work but she has carved out for herself a steady television gig. She had a stint on The Practice and she’s been on Grey’s Anatomy (or so my mom tells me, and iMDB confirms) since 2007 so it’s safe to say she’s doing alright.

Eric Christian Olsen: This guy has popped up all over the place since Not Another Teen Movie. He was in the Dumb and Dumber sequel (unfortunately), Cellular with pal Chris Evans, Paul Haggis’ The Last Kiss, and he has recently been seen on TV’s Community (a show I love) and NCIS: Los Angeles (a show I occasionally follow).

Jaime Pressly: Probably the most recognizable name on the list due to her time on My Name is Earl where she won an Emmy in 2007. She was last seen in 2009’s I Love You, Man and if you want to find sexy pictures of her, it’s very easy.

Josh Radnor: Don’t know the name? Then you probably don’t watch one of my favorite shows on TV: How I Met Your Mother where he plays loveable/hopelessly in love architect Ted Mosby. If you don’t remember him in the movie then think back to the guy who explains why there was slow motion at the party or when he so justly points out how everyone at the school was a professional dancer. It’s him, and it took me viewing the film recently to see it was him.

For my next installment of Notable Alumni I will look at another comedy: Old School.