‘Arrested Development’ & it’s one degree of separation from ‘The Social Network’

ESPN is getting on my nerves

Let me get something straight first. I watch ESPN regularly. Not as much as I used to, but I watch it for the sports banter and the highlights.

I don’t watch it for their draft coverage. Whether it’s the NBA or NFL, I do not care. Period. It is not interesting to me and to see them devote hours of coverage to whether or not Cleveland needs an offensive tackle more than a long snapper is a bit ridiculous to me.

Couple that with the unlikeable draft ‘experts’ Todd McShay and Mel Kiper Jr (who seriously needs a new hairstyle) and you have some of the most boring television ever. Now, granted, there are some die hard fans out there who go through their team position by position and say to themselves, their friends, their barber, priest, bartender, and paperboy that their team needs a down lineman more than a kick returner and that’s fine – for them. I get angry when I see wall-to-wall coverage of something that doesn’t need to be dissected this much when there are other things in the world of sport that are more interesting/exciting. It is something that is literally all speculation (commentating is that to a degree but this is more) because the only certainty lies with whoever has the first pick the rest is all guesswork and overanalyzing.

This leads me to their Top 10 plays of the day. I get that it’s an arbitrary system in deciding the top plays but to not include at least one of the stops from Manuel Neuer, of Schalke 04, from yeserday’s Champions League match is a crime. I hear people complain about football not getting any support in this country and here is a perfect opportunity to showcase some brilliant goalkeeping and ESPN blows it. Then again, this is coming from a network that spent an hour on ‘The Decision’, so, you know where their programming decisions lie.

Ke$ha & The Case Against Most Music Videos

Have you seen the latest (I assume it’s the latest because I don’t keep up with these things) Ke$ha music video for ‘Blow’? No, well it’s not good. Not good at all. It begs the question: ‘Why are there music videos?’. In order to grasp my argument here is the video in question:

Really?

For starters, Dawson? I guess his schedule is empty given that there isn’t a sequel for ‘Varsity Blues’ in the pipeline. I mean c’mon dude the other three leads from that show are all doing great. Michelle Williams: Two-time Oscar nominee. Katie Holmes: Steady acting gigs while me married to one of the biggest stars on the planet. Joshua Jackson: Co-Stars on one of my favourite shows ‘Fringe’ where he is fantastic. But this isn’t about him, it’s about her…and music videos.

This video is a bomb right out of the gate. The ‘no mythological creatures’ title card is trying very hard to be funny. A bit too hard. The high-concept video has been done to death and at times it can be refreshing but most of the time it’s annoying. Just look at Katy Perry’s new video ‘E.T.’ it’s filled with digital imagery and bright colours but it has no heart. Sure there’s that robot thing, but there is no emotion tied into it. It’s just a vehicle for Katy to dress up and wear tons of makeup, the music is put off to the side.

Back to Ke$ha, the unicorn heads are odd, and laughably bad (which I bet is the point) but they go from ‘Oh hey, those are fake’ to ‘What’s the point?’ to ‘This is just plain stupid.’ Then there’s the guns and the rainbows the unicorns bleed. Why? It looks tacky, but not in the B-movie sort of way. It’s the, we-have-a-budget-but-we-choose-to-ignore-it-by-using-purposefully-bad-effects-because-it’s-a-hipster-thing-because-by-acting-like-we-don’t-care-we-are-going-against-the-establishment-thus-being-quirky-but-we-really-do-care.

This brings me to the question of ‘Why are there music videos?’. I remember the last time I sat and watched a music video on TV and it was 2009 and it was the Friendly Fires ‘Skeleton Boy’ and it is a fantastic video. But ultimately, what’s the point? For every ‘What’s My Age Again?’ there’s Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’. It’s a mixed bag. It’s as if artists just do music videos because they have a hit single and they want to visualize it. Sometimes it’s good. Sometimes it’s bad. But, as mostly is the case, the bad outweigh the good because they get the most attention. If what we get is ‘Blow’ quality videos from millionaire artists then I think everyone who bought the album should get a percentage back because they ruined a song by doing something dumb in a video.

Sure, there are some great music videos out there but a lot of them came out before the internet was fully utilized. Now, every artist can make their own video, which is great, but just because it can be made doesn’t mean it should be made. It comes down to quality not quantity. Effort counts when putting something to film. CGI alone won’t help you (ahem Ms. Perry) but great imagery can enhance your video. Ellie Goulding’s ‘Lights’ is a prime example of imagery complimenting the music. It’s simple in design (but more complicated to create) and effective. It’s not just about a futuristic concept, fantastical creatures or monkeys directing your video from a stage (cough Fall Out Boy). It has to come off as a genuine attempt to connect with the audience through the visual medium by way of a song. Ke$ha does the opposite and she needs to be stopped. It’s all about flash-bang/shock-awe with her because she has to outdo everyone else around her. This constant one-upmanship is tired and it’s less shock-awe and more shockingly bad.

As is life you can choose to ignore or watch anything you want. Just remember, once you’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it.

State License Plates Part 4: Georgia

[After a bit of a hiatus I have returned with more]

It seems rather odd that the 4th state admitted into the Union was a state that was someplace other than the Northern Atlantic seaboard, but here were are.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Georgia? Ray Charles? Peaches? The Braves? “Tara”? Well, only one of those shows up on the state license plate and I assure you it’s not the “Tara”. It’s a peach, duh. I mean it’s ‘The Peach State’ for a reason.

Plain white background with raised black font really makes the letters and numbers pop. I feel that the Georgia DMV or whoever designs these things really wanted some symmetry so they looked for the biggest font they could use to fit ‘GEORGIA’ in between the two holes at the top of the plate. Then in an afterthought they realised that this is the 21st century and added the ‘.gov’ to show that they have a website. Classic.

A peach alone would have sufficed for the plate but they decided to stick the state in the middle but have it a bit blurred out and obscured by the peach as if to say the peach is greater than the state. I do like the realism in the peach design with the tip at the bottom and the rounded top with the leaf sticking out. It lets me know that it’s a peach and not some other fruit. But it’s hard not to think of ‘Face/Off’ and Nicolas Cage saying ‘Peach, I could eat a peach for hours’ whenever I see a peach. But that’s just me. A simple, yet effective plate I give it an A-.