Sport Science doesn't even need to use science

The 'evil four letter' (ESPN), as they are known as on Fox Sports, has a segment that pops up from time to time that examines athletes and the science behind their skills and abilities. It sounds like a great way to get people and, most likely, kids involved in science. Take something they enjoy and add a learning element so that it's not just mindless entertainment. The show has won Emmy's so there is some merit behind it and I like the premise. Not enough kids are in the sciences these days.

But - and a big J-Lo butt - sometimes you don't really need science to figure things out.

For example, I remember watching a segment related to Super Bowl catches. They looked at David Tyree's and Santonio Holmes' of the Giants and Steelers, respectively. Then they wanted to find out which catch required the least amount of force. If you remember Tyree's catch, and how could you not, you'd remember there were guys all around him pushing and shoving, trying to knock the ball loose. And if you remember Santonio Holmes' catch, a not so memorable catch from an otherwise memorable game, you'd know he was barely touched.

When they first mentioned the catches I immediately knew Tyree's required more force. And that's from a high school understanding of physics. Why spend an entire segment on this? I assure you that most people knew the answer before the end of the question. It just seems like a waste of space.

Here's the segment: [note the video is titled Fox Sports, but it's actually from ESPN] You don't need to watch the whole thing, it's just here for reference.

This Chase 'Quick Pay' Babysitter is the Worst

Have you seen this ad from Chase? The one with the babysitter getting a tip from the parents of the little girl she was babysitting? You haven't? Well, allow me to enlighten you:

Those are are some dumb parents. And terrible babysitter.

They give her $40 for the whole night, which is pretty good money if you break it down hourly. I'd say they were gone for 2-3.5 hours given their attire (dinner-dressy/casual). Then she got $20 more for being a bad babysitter. Olivia here knows how to work the system.

What she doesn't know how to do is CLEAN UP AFTER HERSELF!

She left a mess!

Open paint, dirty brushes, hanging paper on string, posting paper on walls (when they take that down and if the pain peels: ooooooooohhhhh shit), and a waste of tin foil for an Eiffel Tower! It's an architectural marvel and I bet it was fun to make but, c'mon, why not toothpicks (might take too long) or something less useful than tin foil. Oh, and she used waffles to make an Arc de Triomphe! If it was half eaten I would be OK with it but since it is in tact, it tells me that she wasted waffles, delicious waffles.

Another thing Olivia might not have thought of is 'What if the parents are Xenophobes?' They would be frightened by their French speaking child. I'll let that slide because I assume she's been their babysitter for a while now. But she shouldn't be after this mess.

Note to parents: Don't hire Olivia. She leaves a mess wherever she goes.

Katy Perry doesn't understand radio

I saw this ad a while back, then again the other day.

We all know how radio works. I mean, these artists all seem to know. Adam Levine, One Direction, Usher...except Katy Perry. Jump to 26 seconds to see what I mean:

I. Don't. Think. You can see someone on the radio....Unless you're Matt Murdock, the lawyer from Hell's Kitchen.

In Katy's own words, borrowed from 'Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)', "That was such an epic fail."

In an alternate universe

There are times throughout the day that I think about what is going on in alternate universes. Universes where everything is the same except for this one thing. This is a list of 10 differences I have come up with. They are not necessarily all in the same universe but they exist in at least one.

• Justin Guarini won Americal Idol and is 'Miss Independent'

Not really a stretch

• Alcatraz is still on the air and people are still wondering why Hurley hasn't lost any weight.

I really do miss this show

• The Buffalo Bills won all of those Super Bowls

There would be four of these

• I'm left handed

I would shop here on the reg

• Full House is still on the air but it's on Showtime and it's now about how Nicky & Alex run a brothel out of their San Francisco House.

Bowl cuts for all their bitches

• L.A. Confidential won Best Picture

Because it is better than Titanic

• Oasis is still together

The best album of the 90's. Don't fight me on this.

• This handball was called on Torsten Frings and forever changed US soccer

Angle 1: Handball

Angle 2: Handball

• The Cubs have won a World Series

Technically this is from the future so it could happen...haha

• Steve Nash has more MVP's than Kobe

Oh, wait...