St. Pauly D.

I got bored and decided to have a bit of fun with some image editing. This is what I came up with:

Midnight Movie Madness

You always remember your first time right?

Mine was in the summer of 2004. A new film by M. Night Shyamalan was opening and people were excited. The audience was electric with people whispering and talking amongst themselves. Some in anticipation. Some just recounting the days events. But everyone was there for the film at that special time. Midnight.

The Midnight Movie is something of a rite of passage for cinephiles. It shows how much you want to see a film that you would stay out late and see it when most people are asleep. Now, it’s not for everyone and some times you just cannot make the midnight show but you should at least do it once. Just make sure it’s for the right movie. I’ve been there for “Revenge of the Sith”, “At World’s End”, “Spider-Man 3”, “Wolverine”, some others and the aforementioned “The Village”. All of which have a pedigree for fans and a history for healthy box office. That’s not so much the case anymore.

Take a look at this poorly constructed image I created from screen caps of the actual movie show times from a local theatre.

Notice anything a bit out of the ordinary? Perhaps that “Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son” is being shown at midnight. Or that “I Am Number Four” and “Unknown” are also being shown at midnight. Uh, what?

I had no idea that there was a groundswell of support for a third “Big Momma’s House” movie let alone enough of an audience to require a midnight show. It is a travesty. I understand that “I Am Number Four” is based on a popular book, so I’ll give it that, but I hadn’t heard of the book until I heard of the movie so that illustrates where my focus is on all things literary. “Unknown” looks like a lesser version of “Taken” but this time they speak German instead of French.

When did these films become worthy of midnight showings? It’s as if the midnight show doesn’t mean anything anymore. The zest is gone. It used to only happen every once in a while for an “Avatar”, “Harry Potter” or “Transformers” and now it seems everybody is allowed entrance to the party when they shouldn’t be. There is no pedigree for any of those films. Am I being a snob for what I deem to be worthy of midnight shows? Hell yes I am because who else is going to protect the midnight show. “Rocky Horror, “The Room”, “Indiana Jones” are films worthy (used loosely for ‘The Room’) of the midnight show for their own reasons. The novelty of the midnight show is being worn thin by the volume of films being shown.

The idea behind the midnight show is to gain support for the weekend and give the hardcore fans the first crack at the product. Whether it’s a film based on comic book, science fiction novel of TV show, or what have you it’s generally reserved for something BIG. Good early buzz = solid weekend box office. Now with the advent of social networking sites the word gets out much quicker so people will (hopefully) flock to the theatre to see the film. Is that really necessary for any of the films listed in that image? I say no. This comes off as the theatre’s attempt to grab more cash by adding an extra show instead of doing it for the fans and having a midnight show. No movie screams BIG in February, especially now.

I guess I’m just upset that a “Big Mommas” movie is being shown at midnight. C’mon man, that’s just ridiculous. When was the last time people actually said “Hey let’s go see that Martin Lawrence movie.” There was a time when I did. “Black Knight”. I regret every single second I sat in that theatre. Why did I see it? I don’t recall. I like Martin Lawrence. He can be extremely funny, but his track record as of late does not reward a midnight show. Especially when it’s “Big Mommas”.

This is the film world I live in now. A world where Liam Neeson, Martin Lawrence and that girl from “Glee” who always seems to be talking like her nose is congested can share a midnight show and it can be considered normal. I have only one thing to say to that: ‘Shit just got real.’

State License Plates Part 3: New Jersey

Ah yes the lovely state of New Jersey. I have only had the pleasure of traveling through Newark Airport, on my way to New York, and it was pleasant enough but all I could think about was finding where John Cusack got spit out after being inside John Malkovich’s head. Sadly, I never found it, I don’t think. I was there in March so the same dead-ish brown grass populated most of the stretch of highway I traveled on. Oh well, I move on.

New Jersey:

Now when I see the words ‘Garden State’ I think the opposite of New Jersey. When most people hear that they think of Zach Braff and The Shins. Quite the contrast.

Nothing says ‘Garden’ like emulating a hazy mixture of taupe and bile and plastering it all over the license plates of every car and lo-and-behold that is their state color. Sure it was chosen by George Washington (as in the 1st President George Washington) for the troops from New Jersey so that’s that but c’mon George did you run out of colors after Red, White and Blue for the rest of the country that you decided to stick New Jersey with that? That’s too bad. Really, it’s too bad, I would’ve said ‘Thanks Georgie but I think we’ll go for vermillion or something a bit more bad ass because I don’t want to look at my flag and see phlegm behind our awesome crest.’

Another state uses a blob in the middle only this time the blob is a recreation of the state and has distinct features that let you know that it’s not just a blob. Meh. On the plus side I can easily read every single letter and number. They go that going on but that’s about it. This plate is ugly and boring and received a C-.

A Man without a team

I love football.

When I say football I mean the game you actually play with your feet. Soccer. Fútbol. Football.

I love the game and follow many leagues around the world. Here at home I am a Galaxy supporter through and through. In Australia’s A-League I follow the Brisbane (formerly Queensland – how I knew them) Roar on account of I lived and studied in Brisbane and fell in love with the city. From there it gets a bit murky. I tend to support teams with American players on them. I look for them to see how they are doing in their respective leagues in hopes that their success will translate onto the national team. Other than that I don’t have a strong inkling towards any team other than the two I already mentioned. I need a team.

I’m not a huge fan of La Liga because it’s dominated by Barcelona and Real Madird. Messi is a brilliant player but the league is a two-team race and I am not interested in supporting either team.

Ligue 1 is enjoyable, when I can watch it, but I am not sure who to support. Lyon? St. Etienne? PSG? Sochaux? Marseille? I know very little about their domestic football league that it’s hard to pick a team to support.

The Bundesliga is extremely competitive but it, like Ligue 1, is a league I know little about but enjoy watching. I’d like to know more about this league but I have no vested interest in any of the teams. With the recent departures of Michael Bradley and Jermaine Jones to the EPL on loan, my interest in the league dips but there is still interest.

The EPL is the league I follow most closely because it features most of the best players in the world and because it is full of American players. From Dempsey to Howard to Friedel to Holden, the Stars and Stripes are well represented in the EPL but I don’t have a team to fully get behind. I’m not interested in Man U or Arsneal or Chelsea based on personal preference and the players they bring to the pitch. I enjoy watching Liverpool play and the way they’ve overcome their sloppy start this season has made for some great matches. Hmmm…

I like Everton and their setup with Arteta in midfield and Saha and Cahill up front. Then I ask if I only like the team because Tim Howard is their keeper and because Landon Donovan was on loan there last year. It certainly doesn’t hurt.

Stuart Holden has been in top form at Bolton and he works well with Elmander and Lee but this might truly be the case for liking the player more than the team even though the entire team is playing well.

This trouble continues with Fulham (Dempsey), Aston Villa (Friedel, Lichaj, Bradley) and hell, even Wolves at times gets my support (Damn you Marcus Hahnemann!). I am a man without a team. It’s enjoyable to watch a match just for the pure joy of watching football but at the same time I wish I had a team to get behind so I could get emotional about a game. I’m asking my readers, friends, and whoever came across the page by accident to help me find a team to support. EPL, Bundesliga, Ligue 1, Scottish Premier League, Eredivisie, pretty much any league, find me a team that I can get behind and support like the ones I already do.

- Skillet.

Jesse James moves on, so have I

It’s a match-made in ink.

Known Nazi cos-player Jesse James recently announced that he is engaged to wed reality TV star Kat Von D. James said that 2010 was the “best year of [his] life because [he] fell in love with [his] best friend.” So Sandra Bullock wasn’t your best friend? What about Janine Lindemulder, your first wife with with whom you share a child? I guess they were mere acquaintances and not friends.

I’ll be honest, when I first heard of Jesse James, I thought of the original American outlaw, train robber, and ultimate murder victim. Someone of actual interest and significance. Not a guy who fixes up motorcycles and goes through women like Jocelyn Wildenstein goes through plastic surgeons. So to hear that the namesake of an important American is now more (in)famous is a tad insulting. But hey, that’s pop culture.

Is this news really that shocking? I mean this is coming from the guy who had relations with a woman who has the nickname “Bombshell”. I am not really sure she understands what a bombshell is but I can surmise what her name means: Bomb, yes, but in the destructive sense. Shell, I can only assume it is hollow up in the cranium (why else would she have so many tattoos). Clearly the man has a type.

Who are you kidding Jesse James, proclaiming "I have Never Felt so Loved! I'm The Luckiest (man) in the World!" Of course you’re the luckiest man in the world, you found a woman with no short term memory. A female Memento. Except Carrie-Anne Moss is still stuck in The Matrix and Joe Pantoliano isn’t pulling any strings. You are.

Am I saying that I wish ill upon the newly engaged? No, far from it. I like seeing people happy. I think some people deserve each other. No matter how crazy they might be. Just please stay out of my line of sight so I can see things of actual importance going on in the world.

State License Plates Part 2: Pennsylvania

Let me start off by saying something: I am not a huge fan of this state. This state has single handedly produced a team that trounced my team twice (in a row, to add insult to injury) in the post-season only to leave me with a bitter taste in my mouth and disdain for all of it’s citizens. This state has also given me a basketball team to cheer for (even thought I don’t really like the NBA), I don’t have the answer for that but it has something to do with not liking the teams I have in my region. That being said, this state is crucial to our nations history. Ben Franklin, 1776, Independence Hall, William Penn, the Liberty Bell, Gettysburg, ‘Rocky’, the Steelers, etc.

Pennsylvania:

Pennsylvania became a state a mere five days after Delaware in 1787. But enough history!! Let’s get to the plate. The state colors are blue and gold (similar to Delaware… how original) and you can see the colors border the top and bottom of the plate. It’s a nice touch, simple, but effective. Pennsylvania is known as the ‘Keystone State’ and that’s why there’s a blob in the middle of the plate. When I’m driving and looking forward at the plate all I see is a blob. It’s not until you get close enough that you see it’s a keystone. Clever…? It is better than this 2000 version that is even more of a blob but they should have stuck with the outlined version to make the keystone a more prominent feature.

With the advent of technology it was bound to catch up to our cars. I just never thought it would hit license plates. The ‘visitPA.com’ at the bottom is trying a bit too hard to get me to go there and wouldn’t the people buying these plates and putting them on their cars already live there? They don’t need to visit. They probably want to get away. There’s only so much cheesesteak, Hershey’s chocolate, and Quakers one can take right?  So telling the people who buy your plates to visit a state they already live in is like having a horse eat hay, it already does it every day. I give this plate a high C-.

Appreciating ‘American Pie’

As a lazy Sunday afternoon bled into a lazy Monday I found myself where I always find myself when I am bored and have nothing to do. In front of the TV.

Now this particular day was special because there was practically nothing worth watching. The movie channels had nothing. The Networks had zilch (and the includes the ‘Pro Bowl’). Basic cable channels were showing next to nothing until I came upon Comedy Central (and their new bizarre logo) and saw a movie I had not watched in a long while, ‘American Pie’. Sure it was edited and blurred but the movie is still essentially the same. It wasn’t until I saw the movie in this form that I really saw what it was about. The friendship and coming of age story of these four friends and the journey they go on to accomplish their goals.

I remember ‘American Pie’ as the gross-out movie that was rated R, and for good reason. Stifler, the pale ale, the tongue tornado, band camp, Nadia, that ‘Asian Guy’, and everything else is all there but at the heart of it all is how each of the four friends, Jim, Finch, Oz, and Kevin grow throughout their quest. It’s a fairly honest look at what it’s like to be a teenager with hormones being the driving force behind all of your decisions. The film has always been about the strong bond the four friends have but I had never fully seen it because the gross out stuff is pushed to the forefront when in fact the friendship never goes away even amidst all of the turmoil and raunchy situations that happen.

I always liked the film, mainly because of the crude humor, nudity, and overall ridiculousness but I had never appreciated the film for the strong message of friendship and relationships it presented. When you break it down it’s the story of four best friends who would do anything for each other regardless of what that might be. It’s still about sex, bodily fluids, nudity, and apple pie but the friendship is what holds the film together and sets it apart from other teen comedies.